July 29, 2020
Jeannette and I talk today about an experience at prayer and selection of my journal:
within what breaks, I am vast Abyss
within the falling, I am depthless Depth
in the emptying, I am the Silence
Shed your mind’s unconscious gossip and still your Heart
Touch your forehead to the earth
a floral carpet Crimson Red
on which you bumble and tumble
in My Glory.
“Who could have thought my shrivel’d heart
Could have recover’d greennesse?
George Herbert, The Flower
July 28, 2020
I’m almost 57. Fifty seven years of people, situations, issues, reaction, desires, disappointment, dreams, loves….
This year on my birthday, I’m making the resolution to “not look back.”
To not look back at disappointment.
To not look back at rejection.
To not look back at loss.
Of course, looking back is important to do at times. I actually began to rediscover parts of my life during the imposed solitude of the pandemic that I hadn’t taken the time to integrate precisely because I hadn’t looked back. I needed to take the time to “connect the psychological-emotional-spiritual dots” between what I had experienced and lived through and what I was still carrying today in my heart and mind.
Making the connections is important. By making connections we can surrender to God what he has helped us recognize. We can let it go. We can understand it more deeply, even recognize where we may have been mistaken in our perception of what happened....
July 14, 2020
The seismic shifts that are underway in every aspect of our culture these days are nothing compared to the seismic shifts God is calling me to personally, perhaps calling all of us too if there is to be any resolution that will promote the human advancement of us all.
We can no longer face anything the same way we did five months ago. It seems like such a breath of time, and yet a centuries-wide chasm has been broken open by the processes and changes that are fracturing and reshaping the world as we have known it.
We collectively stare into a widening canyon of uncertainty as life spins into unexpected directions. Uncertainty: where will all this end? What will happen to me? Will I be able to keep what I have? Am I somehow also responsible for this? Am I all that God has put me on this earth to be and to do?
Yet a window of possibility is emerging…
The possibility that we might feel with courage…
That we might decide with love…
That we might listen with neutrality…
That we might be willing to lose something that another might have,
to die that another might live…